A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock’n’roll, & Whole Lotta Parasocial Anxiety

 

A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock’n’roll, & Whole Lotta Parasocial Anxiety

I only learned the word “Parasocial” about a year ago. But it's been with me since my youth, when I felt intimate connections to President Carter, to the casts of Happy Days or Star Wars, to the players on the Cleveland Browns.

“Parasocial” refers to a connection between a person & someone they don't know, such as a celebrity or fictional character. In parasocial relationships, we fans consume content & reciprocate with strong feelings, of which the other person is usually unaware. This feels completely intense, as with religion, but totally lopsided, with one person investing adoring emotional energy & time, while the famous person is only generally aware of the connection with their fans. The celebrity tends to encourage this relationship as it feeds their celebrity status & their personal financial success. They do this especially by thanking fans profusely at public events, telling us that they love us. 

Given the power of this connection, it can be devastating when the object of the fan’s affection disappoints or betrays the more sensitive of fans. Collateral to this, fans in online forums can appear mean & cutting to other fans, as disagreements & misunderstandings emerge over minor or major topics. I have experienced this sense of betrayal, even crushing disappointment, with many musical artists that I follow. Admittedly, trying to apply or ascertain morality in an overtly rowdy & dirty milieu as so much popular music appears a silly & fraught project. Not trying to be Tipper Gore & the PMRC here. Not trying to create a woke/PC rubric for my fandoms.

As the internal struggles with this phenomenon in my fandoms is something I wear publicly, a close spiritual sibling suggested I check out the book Monsters: a fan's dilemma by Clare Dederer. The premise is too familiar, according to the blurb which promotes the book as a: “passionate, provocative, blisteringly smart interrogation of how we make and experience art in the age of cancel culture, and of the link between genius and monstrosity. Can we love the work of controversial classic and contemporary artists but dislike the artist?” While I have not read the book yet, I have listened to some podcast interviews with the author & so greatly appreciate her contribution to the larger conversation.

To be clear, I don’t believe in, much less have a stake in, so-called “cancel culture,” as it is commonly portrayed. What I know of it, it seems the misguided flailing of the defeated & confused, to deal with what are largely systemic sociological problems, with the public shaming of individuals. But it’s also acutely dangerous, as I have seen it weaponized on the farther left in tiny subcultures, to hurt fellow travelers, especially independent authors, artists, & musicians. 

That said, as many hours as I spend streaming music into the best headphones I could afford, I really don’t want to be streaming folks, no matter how good they are at their craft, who make my stomach turn & heart hurt. To be clear, these are more likely popular & well-known artists, with whom my relationship is purely parasocial, & I have had to walk away from closely following & listening to these folks. They won’t miss me.

As a fan of traditional & acoustic musical forms, I recently had a sort of epiphany, where it felt best abandoning the pretense that nicknames or subgenres like “Americana” or “roots” or “alt-country” would protect me from the stereotype of “country music,” especially the poison of mainstream country, at which I previously turned up my nose. So I allowed myself to listen to & fall in love with some up-&-coming & very popular country artists. Crashing into the 2024 election season, I have had the displeasure to notice & acknowledge that these artists are essentially part of the MAGA space & that the majority of their fans are definitely part of the MAGA base. 

With two separate artists that I love in the country genre, I experienced overtly MAGA fan behavior at their concerts that made me want to puke. Although I was never physically in danger, I felt so emotionally unsafe. With yet two other very popular country artists whose music I adore, I have seen their personal choices & affiliations so taint my ability to even enjoy them. 

I shouldn’t be shocked, but I am. I shouldn’t be so disappointed, but I am. I am adding names to a list of more indie-aligned artists that I no longer listen to or support whose egregious personal behavior led to consequences in the #metoo movement. Maybe I truly am an over sensitive snowflake, but here we are.

I don’t want to broadcast the names of the artists or the more specific nature of the incidents that upset me so. But my gut revulsion didn’t lie to me. Goodbye & good riddance.  

Now, I am drawing boundaries & making choices for myself, not for others. I surely won’t be consistent & will still listen to some more problematic artists (problematic to my values, that is), sometimes unknowing of their personal decisions or public statements on issues that I care about. 

In the coming months & years, I imagine we will all have far more serious concerns than whose music to listen to. Frankly, I think the entire “ethical consumerism” thing is a poor substitute to real solidarity & class consciousness. Listen to whom you want to listen to. There are no perfect performers. We can’t shop our way to the better society. Likewise, I certainly don’t plan to pre-emptively pass judgement on the majority of my neighbors & co-workers in my home region, which is a MAGA hotbed. 

Moreover, I believe much more in “calling in,” than “calling out.” But I want to call all of us into a beautiful world based on radical love, always inclusion, peace, earth-care, & economic justice.

While I previously had such a great appreciation for anti-authoritarian black/left/queer voices in folk, country, & Americana spaces, I expect to continually hone & amplify that love. As much as I aesthetically crave the lyrics-based poetics of acoustic & traditional music, my recent revulsion at right-wing gestures in the country music space have been matched with a wondrous remembering & return to the genius in punk & rock communities that align with my values. 

Music fandom is a huge part of my heart. As an amateur music critic & radio DJ, every artist I write about or whose songs I play on Teacher On The Radio, these are choices & choices I will continually make in conversation with my deepest held values going forward. 

-Andrew/Sunfrog, Tenasi/Cherokee land, winter holidays 2024

“So what are we to do with our problematic faves? History shows that any attempt to bend culture to the will of a rigid ideology is itself politically abominable (Mao, I’m looking at you). And yet we can’t absolve ourselves of the political and social consequences of problematic art (or, in my case at least, gum up our ears to its siren call). For me, the biggest lesson is that studying English literature at university is a recipe for misery. If this is being woke, I cry to dream again.”  - Ash Sarkar