I am
life chasing death
I am
delight & depression
I am
an oil & water mix, up & down, optimist & pessimist
I am
daisy-dancing butterfly-chasing supernatural sunrise agape
I am
45 years of adventure & addiction, fighting gravity & finding grace
I am
rainy-day Monday mood-swing into melodramatic misanthropy
I am
too much yes & not enough no but give as I go & live anything but slow
I am
urban hiking at Cane Creek & Ensor Sink no matter the season
I am
recycling & bicycling & hybrid car
I am
tossing yesterday’s compost into the yard
I am
watching the weeds grow
I am
cooking breakfast, foraging dinner, consulting cookbook, chopping garlic for
pesto or baba ghanouj
I am
hot chili on a cold night
I am
the first Thursday in October craving the fallen leaves
I am
the feast of St. Francis
I am
the first Friday in October watching my friends perform Macbeth in the park
I am
the first Saturday in October & the onset of autumn chills
I am
the first Sunday in October making blueberry cornmeal pancakes for my baby
I am
okay that the Christmas decorations have been out at Hobby Lobby & Goodwill
since Labor Day
I am
that guy who leaves the little white Christmas lights up all year
I am
“Ballerina” by Van Morrison
I am
“I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons even though I hate waiting
I am
every U2 song ever released
I am
John Lennon, Bono, & Martin Luther King Jr.
I am
making mixtapes for a million Monday nights
I am
wearing headphones in a crowded room
I am a
Yankabilly, adopted southerner, a Midwestern city boy lost in a Tennessee
college town
I am
not ashamed of loving sports or of my Detroit, Cleveland, Chicago roots
I am
repeating “to be” verbs like a broken alarm clock screeching
I am
sadly a “to be” verb wishing for action inside the noun of reality
I am
asterisk & ampersand
I am
period & semicolon
I am
catching comma splices for a paycheck
I am
teaching not because I know but because I am spilling ink & imagination
just to find out
I am
insomniac inspiration
I am a
morning so early that it meets the end of your night
I am
up at 2am when I know I should be slumbering in your arms
I am
caffeinated aggravated dilapidated but not sedated
I am
afraid of how much I’ll eat when Ben & Jerry’s is on sale at the local
Kroger
I am
expresso shots not whisky shots
I am
Jack Kerouac & Jim Morrison thirsty but abstaining anyway
I am
Jimi Hendrix & Kurt Cobain if they’d lived to see recovery
I am
not hungover but still remember the faded sweet-sour taste of Pabst Blue Ribbon
on my tongue
I am
not drinking just for today but the veil between me & intoxication remains
forever thin
I am
sober but still crazy
I am
chillin but not lazy
I am
dry but still high on life
I am
crying at movies & weeping at concerts
I am
Saturday love & Sunday romance
I am
Jeannie’s husband never cured of cuddling snuggling forever love
I am
writing every poem about Jeannie or Jesus while under the influence of java
I am
walking with her, eating with her, dancing with her, sleeping with her
I am
cards & chocolate, flowers & poetry
I am
the waning of the week
I am
the naming of the meek
I am
shouting with my smile
I am
daring to my knees
I am
unafraid but still experience fear
I am
still carrying a silent megaphone & an empty sign to the protest at end of
the galaxy
I am in
the war & against the war that rages in my belly
I am
disturbing the peace that pounds in my chest
I am a
solar amphibian flopping from lily pad to laser beam
I am
that Jesus Freak ex-hippy who went back-to-the-land
I am Godspell & Jesus Christ Superstar & Hair
I am YouTube concerts by all my favorite
bands
I am Almost Famous, We Bought a Zoo, & all
six Star Wars installments
I am loving
my enemies on my better days
I am
wishing the worst in a dry drunk haze
I am
peacenik tree hugger yet not vegetarian & also TV-watching omnivore
I am civil
rights for all my kin, no exceptions for when even one sister or brother loses
nobody wins
I am
Catholic Worker but not Catholic
I am
Presbyterian but only occasionally Calvinist
I am
Buddhist & Jedi & Taoist & Rumi-reading extra-ecumenical
I am
“try not—just do”
I am
still looking for you
I am
right & I am wrong
I am
ready for something different
I am
satisfied with more of the same
I am loneliest when I am hungry
When I
am wanting, I am still filled beyond need
I am
Saturday morning sermon-writing
I am
Saturday evening rocking-out
I am
preaching not because I am saved
I am
preaching because the sin didn’t silence me
I am
in love with the possibility of impossibility
I am
in love with a lost wreath of flowers
I am
in love with dancing barefoot in the grass
I am
burning suns & setting moons
I am
pursuing a peace that passes understanding
I am
seeking God in a place called everything
I am softly kissing you on a planet called everywhere
Watch a video of Andrew reading this poem:
https://youtu.be/DYroctr9vZA